Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
