She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize