There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
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