my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
