some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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