I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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