He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
