New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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