there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
