i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
