my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
