Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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