This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
time to smoke my breakfast
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
