we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
