omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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