break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
