That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
