I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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