Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Too much gin, very little bucket
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
