I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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