Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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