Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
