Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
false alarm, still single
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
