he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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