i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
