How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
