This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
