I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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