sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
