Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
