Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
