by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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