I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
