they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
