lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Let's get the cat blown out
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
