she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
