those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
