just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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