So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize