Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
