just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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