so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
