I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
