I can text with my tongue
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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