first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize