Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
