you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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