It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
