My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
