What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
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I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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