just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
