4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
