My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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