who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize