You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
