I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize