thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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