i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
