Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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