my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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