Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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