I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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