it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
