just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just cut my nipple shaving
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found puke in my bra..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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