Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
