You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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